Showing posts with label Motivational. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Motivational. Show all posts
Letters to our children
When each of our children start school, we are writing a letter to them each year at the same time and putting a little money in each envelope. My husband is making a locked keepsake box for each child and when they graduate from high school, we are going to give them these boxes as a gift so they can read our letters to them with the surprise of a little money to buy themselves something special.
10 Habits to strengthen your relationship with your child.
I found this today while looking at pinterest and I absolutely love it so had to share. Source is listed below.
That connection is also the only reason children willingly follow our rules. Kids who feel strongly connected to their parents WANT to cooperate. They trust us to know what's best for them, to be on their side. I hear regularly from parents that everything changes once they focus on connecting, not just correcting.
But we're only human. There are days when all we can do is meet our children's most basic needs: Feed them, bathe them, keep an encouraging tone, hug them, and get them to sleep at a reasonable hour so we can do it all over again tomorrow. Given that parenting is the toughest job on earth -- and we often do it in our spare time, after we work at another job all day -- the only way to keep a strong bond with our children is to build in daily habits of connection. What kinds of habits?
1. 12 hugs a day. Hug your child first thing in the morning, when you say goodbye, when you're re-united, at bedtime, and often in between. If your tween or teen rebuffs your advances when she first walks in the door, realize that with older kids you have to ease into the connection. Get her settled with a cool drink, and chat as you give a foot rub. (Seem like going above and beyond? It's a foolproof way to hear what happened in her life today, which should be high on your priority list.)
2. Connect before transitions. Kids have a hard time transitioning from one thing to another. If you look her in the eye, use her name, and play a bit to get her giggling, you'll fill her cup and make sure she has the inner resources to manage herself through a transition. Mornings go much easier when you start with a five minute snuggle upon awakening to help your child transition from sleep into the executive functions of dressing and teeth brushing.
3. Play. Laughter and rough-housing keep you connected with your child by stimulating endorphins and oxytocin in both of you. Making playfulness a daily habit also gives your child a chance to work through the anxieties and upsets that otherwise make him feel disconnected -- and more likely to act out. And play helps kids want to cooperate. Which is likely to work better, "Little Gorilla, it's time for breakfast, come eat your bugs and bananas!" and "Don't you think your steam shovel wants to get in the car now so he can see the construction site on the way to the store?" or "Eat your breakfast now!" and "Get in the car!"
4. Turn off technology when you interact with your child. Really. Your child will remember for the rest of his life that he was important enough to his parents that they turned off phones and music to listen to him. This is particularly important in the car, because the lack of eye contact in a car takes the pressure off, so kids (and adults) are more likely to open up and share.
5. Special time. Every day, 15 minutes with each child, separately. Alternate doing what your child wants and doing what you want. On her days, just pour your love into her and let her direct. On your days resist the urge to structure the time with activities. Instead, play therapeutic "games" to help your child with whatever issues are "up" for her. (For game ideas, click here.)
6. Welcome emotion. Sure, it's inconvenient. But your child needs to express his emotions or they'll drive his behavior. So accept the meltdowns, don't let the anger trigger you, and welcome the tears and fears that always hide behind the anger. Remember that you're the one he trusts enough to cry with, and breathe your way through it. Afterwards, he'll feel more relaxed, cooperative, and closer to you.
7. Listen, and Empathize. Connection starts with listening. Bite your tongue if you need to, except to say "Wow!....I see....Really?...How was that for you?" The habit of seeing things from your child's perspective will ensure that you treat her with respect and look for win/win solutions. It will help you see the reasons for behavior that would otherwise drive you crazy. And it will help you regulate your own emotions so when your buttons get pushed and you find yourself in "fight or flight," your child doesn't look so much like the enemy.
8. Slow down and savor the moment. Share the moment with your child: let him smell the strawberrries before you put them in the smoothie. Put your hands in the running water together and share the cool rush of the water. Smell his hair. Listen to his laughter. Look him in the eyes. Connect in the magnificence of the present moment. Which is really the only way we can connect.
9. Bedtime snuggle and chat. Set your child's bedtime a wee bit earlier with the assumption that you'll spend some time visiting and snuggling in the dark. Those companionable, safe moments of connection invite whatever your child is currently grappling with to the surface, whether it's something that happened at school, the way you snapped at her this morning, or her worries about tomorrow's field trip. Do you have to resolve her problem right then? No. Just listen. Acknowledge feelings. Reassure your child that you hear her concern, and that together you'll solve it, tomorrow. The next day, be sure to follow up. You'll be amazed how your relationship with your child deepens. And don't give this habit up as your child gets older. Late at night is often the only time teens will open up.
10. Show up. Most of us go through life half-present. But your child has only about 900 weeks of childhood with you before he leaves your home. He'll be gone before you know it. Try this as a practice: When you're engaged with your child, just be right here, right now. You won't be able to do it all the time. But if you do it every day for a bit, you'll find yourself doing it more and more. Because you'll find it creates those moments with your child that make your heart melt.
http://www.ahaparenting.com/_blog/Parenting_Blog/post/10_Habits_To_Stay_Connected_To_Your_Child/
"We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth." -- Virginia Satir
We all crave those close moments with our children that make our hearts melt. That's what makes parenting worth it. Connection is as essential to us as parents as it is to our children. When our relationship is strong, it's also sweet -- so we receive as much as we give.That connection is also the only reason children willingly follow our rules. Kids who feel strongly connected to their parents WANT to cooperate. They trust us to know what's best for them, to be on their side. I hear regularly from parents that everything changes once they focus on connecting, not just correcting.
But we're only human. There are days when all we can do is meet our children's most basic needs: Feed them, bathe them, keep an encouraging tone, hug them, and get them to sleep at a reasonable hour so we can do it all over again tomorrow. Given that parenting is the toughest job on earth -- and we often do it in our spare time, after we work at another job all day -- the only way to keep a strong bond with our children is to build in daily habits of connection. What kinds of habits?
1. 12 hugs a day. Hug your child first thing in the morning, when you say goodbye, when you're re-united, at bedtime, and often in between. If your tween or teen rebuffs your advances when she first walks in the door, realize that with older kids you have to ease into the connection. Get her settled with a cool drink, and chat as you give a foot rub. (Seem like going above and beyond? It's a foolproof way to hear what happened in her life today, which should be high on your priority list.)
2. Connect before transitions. Kids have a hard time transitioning from one thing to another. If you look her in the eye, use her name, and play a bit to get her giggling, you'll fill her cup and make sure she has the inner resources to manage herself through a transition. Mornings go much easier when you start with a five minute snuggle upon awakening to help your child transition from sleep into the executive functions of dressing and teeth brushing.
3. Play. Laughter and rough-housing keep you connected with your child by stimulating endorphins and oxytocin in both of you. Making playfulness a daily habit also gives your child a chance to work through the anxieties and upsets that otherwise make him feel disconnected -- and more likely to act out. And play helps kids want to cooperate. Which is likely to work better, "Little Gorilla, it's time for breakfast, come eat your bugs and bananas!" and "Don't you think your steam shovel wants to get in the car now so he can see the construction site on the way to the store?" or "Eat your breakfast now!" and "Get in the car!"
4. Turn off technology when you interact with your child. Really. Your child will remember for the rest of his life that he was important enough to his parents that they turned off phones and music to listen to him. This is particularly important in the car, because the lack of eye contact in a car takes the pressure off, so kids (and adults) are more likely to open up and share.
5. Special time. Every day, 15 minutes with each child, separately. Alternate doing what your child wants and doing what you want. On her days, just pour your love into her and let her direct. On your days resist the urge to structure the time with activities. Instead, play therapeutic "games" to help your child with whatever issues are "up" for her. (For game ideas, click here.)
6. Welcome emotion. Sure, it's inconvenient. But your child needs to express his emotions or they'll drive his behavior. So accept the meltdowns, don't let the anger trigger you, and welcome the tears and fears that always hide behind the anger. Remember that you're the one he trusts enough to cry with, and breathe your way through it. Afterwards, he'll feel more relaxed, cooperative, and closer to you.
7. Listen, and Empathize. Connection starts with listening. Bite your tongue if you need to, except to say "Wow!....I see....Really?...How was that for you?" The habit of seeing things from your child's perspective will ensure that you treat her with respect and look for win/win solutions. It will help you see the reasons for behavior that would otherwise drive you crazy. And it will help you regulate your own emotions so when your buttons get pushed and you find yourself in "fight or flight," your child doesn't look so much like the enemy.
8. Slow down and savor the moment. Share the moment with your child: let him smell the strawberrries before you put them in the smoothie. Put your hands in the running water together and share the cool rush of the water. Smell his hair. Listen to his laughter. Look him in the eyes. Connect in the magnificence of the present moment. Which is really the only way we can connect.
9. Bedtime snuggle and chat. Set your child's bedtime a wee bit earlier with the assumption that you'll spend some time visiting and snuggling in the dark. Those companionable, safe moments of connection invite whatever your child is currently grappling with to the surface, whether it's something that happened at school, the way you snapped at her this morning, or her worries about tomorrow's field trip. Do you have to resolve her problem right then? No. Just listen. Acknowledge feelings. Reassure your child that you hear her concern, and that together you'll solve it, tomorrow. The next day, be sure to follow up. You'll be amazed how your relationship with your child deepens. And don't give this habit up as your child gets older. Late at night is often the only time teens will open up.
10. Show up. Most of us go through life half-present. But your child has only about 900 weeks of childhood with you before he leaves your home. He'll be gone before you know it. Try this as a practice: When you're engaged with your child, just be right here, right now. You won't be able to do it all the time. But if you do it every day for a bit, you'll find yourself doing it more and more. Because you'll find it creates those moments with your child that make your heart melt.
http://www.ahaparenting.com/_blog/Parenting_Blog/post/10_Habits_To_Stay_Connected_To_Your_Child/
Quotes to make you smile!
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Your Daily SURVIVAL KIT for 2013
To help you each day... Make one up for yourself and pop it in your bag, briefcase, car or in a drawer in your office.
- Toothpick ... to remind you to pick the good qualities in everyone, including yourself.
- Rubber band ... to remind you to be flexible. Things might not always go the way you want, but it can be worked out.
- Band-Aid ... to remind you to heal hurt feelings, either yours or someone else's.
- Eraser ... to remind you everyone makes mistakes. That's okay, we learn from our errors.
- Candy Kiss ... to remind you everyone needs a hug or a compliment everyday.
- Mint ... to remind you that you are worth a mint to your family & friends.
- Bubble Gum ... to remind you to stick with it and you can accomplish anything.
- Pencil ... to remind you to list your blessings every day.
- Tea Bag ... to remind you to take time to relax daily and go over that list of blessings.
This is what makes life worth living every minute, every day.
Just to make you smile....
A kindergarten child told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.
"How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked the child.
"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.
"You did WHAT?!?!?!" the teacher yelled in shock.
"You know," explained the boy,
"I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."
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A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Joel, 5, and Benjamin, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
"If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait.'"
Joel turned to his younger brother and said, "Benjamin, you be Jesus".
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A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a litter of kittens.
On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, "There were 2 boy kittens and 2 girl kittens."
How did you know?" his mother asked.
"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom."
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A three-year-old put his shoes on by himself.
His mother noticed that the left shoe was on the right foot.
She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet."
He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mum. They're the only feet I got!"
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How wonderful is it to read the way a child's mind works!!!!
It always makes me smile :-)
Funny Parenting Quotes....
I LOVE THESE.... I hope they can bring a big smile to your face :-)
- The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
- A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a two hundred dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.
- Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes.
- We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and be quiet.
- A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.
ALL PARENTS: Dont be so hard on yourself
As parents, we want to be the best mother or father we can be to our children. We want them to look up to us, to see us as their hero, to feel safe, love and guarded by us but most importantly we want our children to be proud of us.
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I know from my own feelings and talking with other parents, that most of us wish we were doing a better job, wished we did more arts and crafts with our kids, wished we played with them more and wished our houses were cleaner and that we had more family time and less work time. But as I said to a friend today...
If we as parents spent as much energy on continuing to do what we do everyday for our children and household INSTEAD of stressing about what we could or should do better, then we would all have perfect homes and perfect families. But you know what? I think that would be boring. Stressing (moderately) is normal, sweating the small stuff is normal, feeling like we could be doing better is normal... and we have all been there or are constantly there.
We will always question ourselves as parents, we will always want to be a better parent, and I think that's healthy, we should stride to be our best, to always want to improve things. If we didn't we would become complacent and then we would slip into not being all we can be.
I want all parents to remember, that when you have those days when you doubt yourself or question the way you are parenting and look at what you could be doing more or less of.... know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE, there is always another ten thousand of us parents all over the world, no matter what country, feeling just the same, and people possibly feeling much worse.
Next time you have gone mad at your child and are feeling guilty or have put on the TV for hours or days on end instead of taking the kids to the park or backyard.... remember there are children with much worse parents and more terrible things going on in their lives.
So as long as your children are happy, healthy and know they are loved by you, that's all that matters. Now go and give your kids the biggest hug and kiss and tell them how much you love them, THAT DOES MATTER!!!! Those are the things your children will remember...............
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I know from my own feelings and talking with other parents, that most of us wish we were doing a better job, wished we did more arts and crafts with our kids, wished we played with them more and wished our houses were cleaner and that we had more family time and less work time. But as I said to a friend today... If we as parents spent as much energy on continuing to do what we do everyday for our children and household INSTEAD of stressing about what we could or should do better, then we would all have perfect homes and perfect families. But you know what? I think that would be boring. Stressing (moderately) is normal, sweating the small stuff is normal, feeling like we could be doing better is normal... and we have all been there or are constantly there.
We will always question ourselves as parents, we will always want to be a better parent, and I think that's healthy, we should stride to be our best, to always want to improve things. If we didn't we would become complacent and then we would slip into not being all we can be.
I want all parents to remember, that when you have those days when you doubt yourself or question the way you are parenting and look at what you could be doing more or less of.... know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE, there is always another ten thousand of us parents all over the world, no matter what country, feeling just the same, and people possibly feeling much worse.
Next time you have gone mad at your child and are feeling guilty or have put on the TV for hours or days on end instead of taking the kids to the park or backyard.... remember there are children with much worse parents and more terrible things going on in their lives.
So as long as your children are happy, healthy and know they are loved by you, that's all that matters. Now go and give your kids the biggest hug and kiss and tell them how much you love them, THAT DOES MATTER!!!! Those are the things your children will remember...............
EASY EXERCISES for the BUSY MUM
If your like me, you want to get fit to feel better about yourself, to be able to fit back into your clothes and to have more energy to run around with your kids and have fun together as a family. I will try to fit exercise in any way I can, like on the days my husband is home from work, at night once the kids are in bed or during the day I may get 10 minutes if Im lucky while my baby sleeps and my toddler is distracted beside me for ten minutes with her favourite toy or doing some colouring in or pastings. But these things dont always go to plan or as smooth as that sounds, soooooo I have found other ways to start getting fit and losing a few kilos.
And the most exciting thing is, IT IS WORKING................
Here is an example of my incidental fitness session yesterday:
- Dancing around the lounge room to music with both my kids, we did this for about 20 minutes, half of which I had my baby in my arms (so there was an extra 10kg of weight while I bounced around). I really danced, so my heart was beating fast for the entire 20 minutes, I incorporated exercise moves into my dancing to work a little harder, like lifting my knees up to my hip level in a run type motion on the spot, doing star jumps, lifting my knee up then kicking out front alternating legs and going faster as I went and clapping high above my head over and over (my gosh this works the arms after 30 times continuous). My kids thought this was great and joined in, my toddler thinks its so much fun to run on the spot while dancing around and we all giggled so much.
- During our outside play, my toddler was playing in our sand and water table and my baby in the swing, so as I was pushing the swing I would do star jumps. My baby thought I looked hilarious obviously as he laughed at me the whole time. I was able to do 100 star jumps, it was great. After this, I ran around the backyard for another ten minutes while chasing after the dogs with my toddler.
- Our house is up stairs (about 14 steps), so while my toddler played happily with chalk on the concrete at the bottom of the stairs, I had my baby in my arms and after walking down realised I left a drink bottle at the top of the stairs so raced back up with bubs still in my arms to grab it. Racing back down, I realised I had just made myself puff from three quick trips up and down the stairs, so off I went.... My toddler was loving her chalk drawings, so the baby and I ran up and down my 14 stairs over a dozen times and boy was that a good workout. I am still paying for that today, haha.
I had just done a workout session with both my children, without any time away from them, without any hassel, tears or stress. Happy kids, happy and FIT mummy. YAH!
Use music that you LOVE and will motivate you and get you pumped. Burn a compilation of your favourite exercise songs onto one cd or onto your ipod/mp3 so you can use that. -A really big thanks to my very good friend wonderwoman for her time & effort to make my music so awesome and motivational, it truly makes all the difference to having fun and keeping fit.
Another thing I do each week for ARM EXERCISES, other than carrying around and picking up my children each day is:
- When all my jobs are done at night, often my husband and I sit down together to watch a movie or a taped show. So twice a week I will lift some dumbbell weights by choosing 3 arm exercises and doing 3 reps of each. This is over and done with in 20 minutes max, but as were watching tv and chatting, it feels like 5 minutes. Its not every night, so for 20minutes twice a week you will be glad you made the little extra effort because your wings, I mean arms, will thank you.
Dont forget to give yourself a reward at the end of the week if you have stuck with your goals and done these exercises. Dont use food, choose things just for you like a nice warm bath, or buying your favourite magazine, or giving yourself a manicure, pedicure or facial. Make sure you compliment yourself on your hard work, you deserve it.
JUST REMEMBER THESE EASY STEPS........................................
KEEP IT SIMPLE.
USE EVERYDAY ACTIVITIES AS WORKOUT SESSIONS.
BREAK IT UP...... 3 ten minute activites is great and achievable.
USE TV TIME AT NIGHT TO DO A FEW ARMS EXERCISES, JUST 10 MINS.
PUT ON MUSIC THAT WILL GET YOU MOTIVATED.
REWARD YOURSELF (but not with food).
THINK POSITIVELY about yourself
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
LOVE YOURSELF
TRUST YOURSELF
and it will show....
WE NEED TO BE POSITIVE ROLE MODELS FOR OUR CHILDREN
WE NEED TO BE POSITIVE ROLE MODELS FOR OUR CHILDREN
AND THAT STARTS WITH
BEING HAPPY WITH OURSELVES
INSIDE AND OUT....
SMILE
Smiling is infectious, you catch it like the flu.
When someone smiled at me today, I started smiling too.
I passed around the corner, and someone saw my grin.
That's when I realised, I passed it onto him.
So if you feel a smile begin, don't leave it undetected.
Lets start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected.
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